Caring for the Soul

Thomas Moore, in his book Care of the Soul, describes soul  as "not a thing, but a quality or a dimension of experiencing life and ourselves....When soul is neglected, it doesn't just go away; it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, and loss of meaning. Our temptation is to isolate these symptoms or to try to eradicate them one by one; but the root problem is that we have lost our wisdom about the soul, even our interest in it....We have come to know soul only in its complaints: when it stirs, disturbed by neglect and abuse, and causes us to feel pain."

Moore continues to remind us that we live in a time where mind is separated from body and spirituality "is at odds with materialism." He tells us the only way to fix this dualistic attitude is through soul. Psychotherapy has it's place but it focuses on "fixing and curing or changing, adjusting or making healthy." We start from the premise that there is something wrong that needs to be fixed. But soul "doesn't look to the future for an ideal, trouble-free existence. Rather it remains patiently in the present."

Every day, therapists hear from clients the following emotional complaints:

• emptiness
• meaninglessness
• vague depression
• disillusionment about marriage, family, and relationship
• a loss of values
• yearning for personal fulfillment
• a hunger for spirituality

Moore tells us "All of these symptoms reflect a loss of soul and let us know what the soul craves. We yearn excessively for entertainment, power, intimacy, sexual fulfillment, and material things, and we think we can find these things if we discover the right relationship or job, the right church or therapy. But without soul, whatever we find will be unsatisfying, for what we truly long for is the soul in each of these areas. Lacking that soulfulness, we attempt to gather these alluring satisfactions to us in great masses, thinking apparently that quantity will make up for lack of quality."

Depression is a huge problem and is viewed as a negative thing that we must talk and medicate our way out of. We pathologize depression and treat it as a problem that needs to be cured. We believe something is wrong because we are not happy and will take extreme measures to fix things.We self-medicate with drugs, foods, sex, gambling, shopping, whatever fix we can get to feel better for the time being. But the problem remains.

When faced with depression, ask yourself "does it have some necessary role to play?...Some feelings and thoughts seem to emerge only in a dark mood. Suppress the mood, and you suppress those ideas and reflections" (Moore). "What if we looked at  'depression' as simply a state of being, neither good or bad, something the soul does in its own good time and for its own good reason?"

"....We might see melancholy more as a valid way of being rather than as a problem that needs to be eradicated."

"Melancholy gives the soul and opportunity to express a side of its nature that as valid as any other, but is hidden out of our distaste for its darkness and bitterness" (Moore).

Moore suggests we broaden our vision and view feelings of emptiness as not negative but as a way to give life "fresh imagination." We should let go of the notion that we have to always be happy and learn from those times when we are sad and melancholy.

If you are depressed or otherwise not happy or fulfilled, instead of thinking something is wrong with you, ask instead: What is the problem that is leading me to feel this way and then fix that!

Take some time for soul care!